Mean Muslim Men

As you might expect, Morocco is full of Muslim men, and you know what that means...meanies.

Meanies who detest my very presence outside the home and scowl at me in the streets for daring to step out.

Meanies who loathe to greet me and turn away at my  "Salaam."

Meanies who dare me to take my daughter to school and-gasp!-give her an education.

Meanies who can't wait to get home and greet their wives with a quick jab to the head.

You know what I mean right? Of course you do.

OK, obviously I am kidding and hopefully most of you got that, otherwise we have a very sad state of affairs. Now it goes without saying that there are bad Muslim men, meanies as I will call them here. But of course there are non-Muslim meanies everywhere. So as this blog is about my experiences living here in Marrakesh, let me tell you about the men I see and how they act and what they do. And no exaggerations, I promise.

The greetings here, as I've talked about in another blog post, are intense and the warmth displayed in meeting is not reserved for men meeting men alone, or women meeting women. Men greet women with dignity and a smile. They usually share a handshake or a kiss to the hand or head if the man is greeting an older, respected lady. These men will stop and speak with you and ask how everyone in your immediate family and your second cousin is doing. This is normal. See it all the time.

The relationships between husband and wife are pretty routine as well, from what I can tell. I've seen my brother-in-law and his wife argue, ending with his wife ripping up said paper they were fighting over (don't ask me what was said, I have no clue), and then him sending her "I'm sorry" eyes over the dinner table. Normal stuff. This same brother-on-law, who can have an attitude on occassion-would rather die than let me take out my own trash and has even chased me halfway down the road to retrieve from me my trash can and finish the task-and takes to the kitchen on his only day off to help his mother prepare lunch. This isn't done with any fanfare or smugness, it's just a normal course of life. As is the occasional fight with his wife.

I can also relate to you a hilarious story my  mother-in-law told about her neighbor's husband who would frequently come home drunk (a big no-no for most women) and whose wife would take her fist and feet to him in the street. Not too hard of course but enough to get across her point that she did not appreciate his behavior. My mother-in-law said he would holler at her "Safi Khadija, safi." Which means enough. But that Khadija was going to get her licks in. Now of course I'm not saying this is good or even appropriate, although the thought of it is a little funny, but I'm sure it's not what most people would expect from a Muslim marriage but there it is.

Here in Marrakesh I see men dropping their kids off at school, carrying their packages or purses for them, or walking with their wives while pushing the stroller. I see men and women haggling over the price of goods and services, and I see many a lady scooting around town on her motorbike.

Normal stuff folks, normal stuff.